Over 40 mama — Adventures in poop, patience, and first-time parenthood


Parenting a sick kid: #1 in a series
January 8, 2009, 12:44 pm
Filed under: parenthood, sleep

The bug has been sick for the better part of the last 3 days.  Not the scary, run-to-the-hospital kind of sick, but just lots of phlegm and awful hacking cough.  Her spirits seem good, and she has no fever. But man, she is coughing – like a lot.  And not sleeping.  And this of course means WE are not sleeping.  Which might not be terrible when we were 23, but is killin me at 44.

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Hold onto your hat…
December 27, 2008, 6:36 pm
Filed under: parenthood, Uncategorized

So, as I mentioned, the bug has learned to scooch. Which means she’s getting into everything that’s between 0 and 12 inches off the floor.   The magazine rack, C’s immense pen box, and the cat box are all potential targets.  Fortunately the cat box is a little off her beaten path as of now.  As soon as she’s crawling instead of scooching, we’ll be worrying about the cat box.

We spent Xmas at C’s brother’s house.  We were all in the living room, with an enormous fireplace where they burnt all the wrapping paper.  The bug was just rapt watching it all: Her cousins, who bounced between the tree and the rest of us, playing “Santa” — the ribbons and paper and crinkly sounds and the TOYS and OMG OMG OMG the PACKAGING for said toys which came in all manner of plastics and paper and cardboard and all kinds of fun textures.  And of course the fireballs that erupted when someone threw in some paper.  Those were cool. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t as orgiastic as it’s been in years’ past.  I made most of my presents this year, since I wanted to save some $$.  So early on I bought some cool yarn and knitted a bunch of hats and scarves for folks.  Nobody totally vomited or said “what’s this supposed to be?” so I guess they were relatively successful. Maybe next year I’ll have a little more skill besides the knit stitch and basic hats, and can venture into more interesting patterns. 

We went to the pediatrician on Dec 23rd, something I really don’t recommend.  The bug was the last patient that day – we waited in the waiting room for 50 min before Dr P saw her.  And by the time Dr P came in to see us, she was clearly exhausted from a long day, and ready to run screaming out of there.

I asked about food and sleep: Turns out, the bug is now to the point where we no longer have to worry about allergies, so she can eat pretty much whatever she wants I want her to eat.  So she’s now eating tofu, carrots from our garden, and lentils.  C’s sis-in-law gave her a graham cracker which I wasn’t totally stoked about, but I’ve learned to pick my battles. 

Dr P also suggested we do a little “cry it out” to help the bug to sleep through the night.  We’ve actually already implemented this during the 3 and 5 AM wake ups and it seems to be working. She doesn’t cry for very long –she may not even be awake.  She seems to know on some level she’s supposed to be sleeping, and can soothe herself.  Daytimes are a little harder.  We’ll get there.  One thing I realized is that I prefer to implement change in interations, where Dr P tends to prescribe things in more black and white terms.  Definitely something to keep an eye out on.  Esp as the bean gets into crawling, I want a ped who can view an issue from multiple sides, and explain the various facets of each.  OMM!



Three parts: Past, present, future
July 30, 2008, 11:25 am
Filed under: parenthood, video

First off, I wanted to follow up on the Parental Differences #1 in a series post, and mention that more discussions ensued and we reached an agreement. We (or I) discovered that there are significant problems when we don’t have an explicit agreement on a baseline position, like “She should be on a sleep schedule.” When we don’t have that, we both just fly by the seat of our pants. And flying by the seat of one’s pants is a fun and delightful way to live when you’re not a parent, but is a bit lacking when you’re the steward of someone else’s growth.

Secondly, the bean can now sit up while holding her head! Woot! Check it:

And finally, I have had the Peggy Lee song, “Is That All There Is?” stuck in my head for the past few days. Am I bored? I love being a mama, and our little family. I love LOVE LOVE that little bug more than anything. But I find myself – between diaper changes and episodes of one-handed mopping – wondering what else there is? The mere act of asking the question has opened up a rusty sector of my brain – the creative sector – and I am suddenly coming up with ideas for green products, and movie plots, and furniture designs. Course there’s no time to do anything about these. But whatever. Maybe someone will invent a computer/matter converter that can take an idea and make it, so I can build my prototype and still change diapers, clean up spittle, and mop.



Note to self
July 22, 2008, 2:47 pm
Filed under: notes to self, parenthood

It is really important for me to take time to be quiet and alone with the bean these days. I relax, and she relaxes and this helps C relax. There are particular challenges, given that our new house is a big, wide, acoustically live open space, and C is around all day and he’s got phone calls and hustles through his to do list. I need the atmosphere to be quieter, at least until she and I are relaxed and I’m tuned in to her. Then we can go out and play.



Parental Differences: #1 in a series
July 21, 2008, 9:34 pm
Filed under: parenthood, sleep, Uncategorized

How do other parents out there deal with it when you and your partner have big differences of opinion on issues of child rearing?

It seems C and I are back in Square One with the issue of sleep and overstimulation. Neither of us have good filter for what’s going on with R because we’re so busy being polarized in our beliefs…



The Fussy Baby Mysteries: Today’s installment
June 16, 2008, 6:54 pm
Filed under: parenthood | Tags:

Reposted from Monday, June 2nd, 2008

The bean started to get really fussy this afternoon. Behold, the saga of our evening:

Try to put laundry away – baby wails.

Pick her up.

Bounce her.

Sing to her.

Think: Holy crap, when was the last we changed her diaper?

Change her diaper.

Bounce her again.

Sing to her again.

Put her in bouncy chair.

Feed her.

Burp her.

Put her in the comfy sling she fell asleep in yesterday

Success! For not very long.

Show her pictures that transfixed her yesterday.

Put those down after she swats you in the face.

Put her in stroller.

Walk around the block.

Return home. She’s quieting down…

Take her upstairs to see what’s going on there.

Note she may be finally sleeping – try to put her down.

Regret trying to put her down. Pick her up again.

Walk back downstairs.

Turn on Hawaiian music.

Bingo.