Over 40 mama — Adventures in poop, patience, and first-time parenthood


Boy do I hate “cry it out.”
February 17, 2009, 2:24 pm
Filed under: guilt, insanity, notes to self, sleep
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Parental guilt episode #1: First in a series
June 27, 2008, 3:59 am
Filed under: guilt

I am not naive enough to think I’ll get through this parenting thing without guilt. So with that said, here’s my first foray into that treacherous land:

Last night was my good friend L’s birthday party. She had invited me to DJ the opening set, which was low key and a lot of fun! It’d been a while since I’d spun out in public (or privately for that matter) and it turned out to be a pretty good set.

We brought the bean to the party, put heavy earplugs designed for wee ones in her ears and kept her in the back, away from the speakers. She slept most of the time. Still, I found myself totally nervous. During my set, either C or other good friends held her. And after I finished playing, I held her in the sling, close, and made sure my hands covered her ears. Still, I felt nervous having her there. Even with these precautions, it seemed premature and god I will KILL myself if we’re endangering her hearing by going to these events.

C and I are signed up to go to a weekend campout (they do have running water and a full kitchen so it’s hardly “camping”) and we plan to sleep in his van, but I am honestly thinking twice about going. Or if I do go, I’ll see that we get a room in a hotel nearby so we have a place to duck out and have quiet/be alone etc. It’s just too stressful.

She seems okay now but I’ll talk to the pediatrician next week about this. It’s a huge issue for me.
Ugh.