Over 40 mama — Adventures in poop, patience, and first-time parenthood

Power of 2
January 30, 2009, 10:09 am
Filed under: feeding

The bug really likes to have two of one thing.  Two rings, two spoons, two blocks. One in each hand.  She tries to mash them together – or fit them together – or otherwise map one to the other.  You can almost see her brain working to integrate how “likeness” works.  

This morning, as I was feeding her, she grabbed the spoon as she normally does.  I got another spoon to continue on my way (as I normally do) but this time she grabbed that spoon too. I thought, hmm. I snuck the first spoon away from her, filled it with food, and gave the spoon to her – instead of trying to feed her – to see what she’d do with it. At first, she flapped it everywhere, spilling peaches and oatmeal all over the place.

 The next time, we did it again. This time she flapped it a bit more gently before putting it in her mouth and eating it.

Go bug go!   

Now she’s flapping my door open and shut.


January 29, 2009, 6:20 am
Filed under: sleep



*runs through the house, screaming*

January 23, 2009, 10:50 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Okay, I admit it.  I am completely blown away by Facebook.

Not the stupid pokes, or super pokes, or tests or quizzes or “gifts” or any of that crap.  But the genuine connections you can make with people who – in a pre-Facebook universe – would have fallen off of your map.  I have made some incredible reconnections with folks who I’ve not spoken to in 20 years – let alone shared daily updates about dentist visits, or favorite wines.  I know about their kids, their work trials, and their caffeine addictions.

It is particularly satisfying to reconnect with someone you WEREN’T close with back in the day, and to overcome whatever mishigaas kept you from getting to know them better then.

So, yeah.  I’m hooked.

Sleep habits
January 23, 2009, 7:00 am
Filed under: sleep

Behavior drifts towards a norm. In other words, habits are hard to break.  It has been incredibly difficult to get the bug to sleep on her own – without nursing.  Furthermore, she wakes 1-2x a night and wants to nurse.  Is this comfort, like many pediatricians say? Or is she genuinely hungry, which is what the results of our experiments would suggest? 

Either way, we’re back to nursing her down.  She knows how to sleep without it, but recently is not so interested in that.  


January 21, 2009, 7:56 am
Filed under: milestones, notes to self

Yesterday was Inauguration Day.   As I sit in the quiet dark morning with the bug, I think of the future she will have.  How her first memory of our President will be a bright, articulate, compassionate, complex, honest man who also happens to be African American.  How she’ll see a man who has lived all over the planet, who has been an outsider AND an insider, whose guiding principle was taught to him by his grandma to “walk in their shoes” when encountering someone new and different.  

On Monday, I participated in the local Oakland Day of Service – a particularly well-organized effort to plant 80 oak trees along a scrubby stretch of MLK Blvd.  There were speakers – a black female archbishop who gave a prayer.  A Blackfeet tribal elder who had worked to prevent the destruction of acres of forests at the hands of developers.  A representative from the Dept of Forestry who was delighted to see community organization around such a precious resource.  The lady who owns Sweetie Pie and Poppy’s soul food, who donated their parking lot and a bunch of hot dogs to feed folks.  A man, who lived on that very block, who’d lost his son to gang violence.  A 10 year old boy who read Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech aloud, while his proud mama cried.

There were people of all races and ages there – and all were clearly moved by the unity of voice and vision. All were clearly witnessing the realization of so many of King’s dreams, and all clearly felt the dedication to work hard and work together to ensure those dreams that had not yet been realized might come to pass sooner than later. 

It was great to actually plant a tree.  To collaborate with folks from all over – young and old, black and white – picking up garbage and making this bleak urban stretch look good.  Others planted daffodils along a boulevard adjacent to the trees.  I know I will keep an eye on this patch of city to see how they grow and flourish over time. 

Coincidentally or not, the bug is now suddenly more like a little kid than a baby.  She’s changing at light-speed.  

Yesterday she said “mama” for the first time as she held out her arms for me to pick her up.

One step forward, 4532 steps back
January 11, 2009, 5:09 am
Filed under: notes to self

So the bug is out of her cold, but it sure did FUBAR her sleep schedule.  Sometimes this is so disheartening.

I battle entropy on a daily basis to get her on a schedule, so she can feel a sense of structure, foundation, grounding.

God I wish I were better at this.

Parenting a sick kid: #1 in a series
January 8, 2009, 12:44 pm
Filed under: parenthood, sleep

The bug has been sick for the better part of the last 3 days.  Not the scary, run-to-the-hospital kind of sick, but just lots of phlegm and awful hacking cough.  Her spirits seem good, and she has no fever. But man, she is coughing – like a lot.  And not sleeping.  And this of course means WE are not sleeping.  Which might not be terrible when we were 23, but is killin me at 44.